‘Self-Reflection’ Posts
You would think that my coping skills would be better…
You would think that after 13 years, my coping skills would be better. And yet, here I am once again, just a few days shy of January 20th, the anniversary of our firstborn’s passing, quietly (or perhaps not so quietly) struggling to maintain the remaining shreds of my [Read More]
I am me…
I am… I am… A mother Gently pressing lips Against a little boy’s cheek As he dreams I am… Shy The quietest person In a room full of friends And yet I am… Helpful Because I want to be liked And not left out As I used to be I am… Apologetic Fearful of [Read More]
On Hearts and Little Boys
It’s hard to believe that July 8th marks 13 years since our first son was born. As I try not to think about the Bar Mitzvah we aren’t planning, my mind turns to my handsome seven-year-old. On a hot summer day two years ago (after giving it a great deal of [Read More]
Seeds of Toxicity
Bugger off, you bastards Bugger off to hell No patience for your antics Ain’t buyin’ what you sell I’m tired of pretending That everything’s okay Not taking no more crap from you So just be on your way You pull me in and make me want To give you all [Read More]
Life is a Series of Choices
It was the hardest telephone call I’d ever had to make. “He’s gone,” I said quietly. “It’s over.” I could hear my father’s sharp intake of breath, followed by a choked sob. From my mother I heard nothing. Sitting on the narrow bed in our spartan hospital [Read More]
30 random facts about yours truly…
As an expat living in a country I love, I know that I will never feel 100% at home in either place and will always feel that I’m being tugged back and forth between them in so many ways. I was very shy and socially awkward as a kid, and had a difficult time making [Read More]
When your heart runs amok and your sanity goes missing
I‘ve reached the sobering conclusion that it’s better to think with your head than with your heart, for when you let your heart take control, it often runs amok, leaving your head, your sanity and possibly your credibility in a ditch somewhere. When you let your [Read More]
Of books and hope…
Earlier today, I spent some time reorganizing my bookshelves which, on the face of it, probably doesn’t sound terribly significant. Shifting books to and fro is hardly cause for excitement, nor is putting books away in a closet in order to make room for other books. [Read More]
Big Dreams; Little Boy
I gaze upon the little boy I watch him as he sleeps I think of all the things he knows The knowledge that he reaps I do my best to teach him well To teach him wrong from right I tell him not to judge the others Merely based on sight I tell him everybody’s [Read More]
The boy who would be twelve
The boy who would be twelve today – he’s lost inside my dreams He weaves his way around my thoughts on unrelated themes He hides among the shadows – they dance around my mind Slipping in and out, simply to remind… The boy who would be twelve today – he lives [Read More]
